Classic Sledging samples from the world of cricket
Compiled by - Unknown.
Classic Sledging samples from the world of cricket
§ McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's dick
taste like?"
Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife."
McGrath (losing it): "If you ever fucking mention my wife again, I'll
fucking rip your fucking throat out."
§ Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne:
As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been
waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you
spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.
§ Merv Hughes & Viv Richards:
During a test match in the West Indies, hughes didn't say a word to Viv,
but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my
culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv
didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman:
"In my culture we just say fuck off.".
§ And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment
which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga
called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one
dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an overweight,
unfit, fat cunt!!!"
§ Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player to the crease
playing & missing the first ball. Mark - "Ohh, I remember you from a
couple years ago in Australia. You were shit then, you're fcuking
useless now". Parore- (Turningaround) "Yeah, that's me & when I was
there you were going out with that old, ugly slut & now I hear you've
married
her. You dumb cunt".
§ Glenn McGrath & Eddo Brandes
McGrath was bowling to the Zimbabwe number 11 - who was unable to get
his bat anywhere near the ball.
McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up
during one particular over and inquired: "Why are you so fat?"
Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: "Because every time I make love to
your wife, she gives me a biscuit."
Even the Aussie slip fielders were in hysterics.
§ Merv Hughes & Robin Smith
Smith played and missed while facing Hughes in the 1989 Lord's Test
between England and Australia.
Hughes, never short of a word or two, told the Hampshire star: "You
can't fucking bat, mate."
Smith then smashed the next ball to the boundary and replied: "Hey Merv,
we make a fine pair.
"I can't fucking bat and you can't fucking bowl."
§ Merv Hughes again!!
Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad in the 1991 Adelaide Test against Pakistan.
Hughes was less than impressed when Javed called him a "fat bus
conductor" as the pair squared up to one another.
A few balls later, Hughes got his man and as Javed walked past, could
not resist shouting "Tickets, please!"
§ oye...this involves Steve Waugh and Parthiv Patel.....Steve
Waugh...Last Test...comes up to bat...
PArthiv-"so this is your last test...show us some of that famous
sledging of yours."
Steve-"Respect Me...For when i made my test debut You were still in your
nappies"
§ Greg Thomas was bowling to Viv Richards in a county game. Viv
missed a superb out swinger, and Thomas said "It's red, round and weighs
about 5 1/2 ounces." Next ball Viv hits Greg Thomas out of the ground
for a 6 and replies,"Greg, you know what it looks like. Go ahead and
find it!"
§ Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to
first slip, and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a
word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises
sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". The reply is
classic Trueman, "Not you, son. Your mother should've!"
§ A classic from the master of sledging, Ian Healy:
Ben Hollioake had just made his debut, hitting Glenn McGrath in the
process.
On his way back after finally being dismissed, Shane Warne cried: 'Hey,
Ben'
Hollioake turned round expecting a pat on the back. Instead Healy came
in from behind and said: 'Get back to the nets, you idiot.'
§ this is the one and only javed miandad vs dilip doshi...javed
bhai at the crease, doshi bowling...the players' hotel was quite near
the stadium...
javed: "arre doshi apna room number to bataa"
nothing from doshi
next ball, javed asks again...still nothing
when the over ends..."arre ab to over khatam ho gaya, ab to bataa de"
doshi finally relents.."216" (or watever)
"agle over mein ball wahin maaroonga"
§ another one, ravi shastri v/s the aussie 12th man (don't
remember who, and don't want to slander anyone :))
shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single...this guy gets the
ball in and says "if you leave the crease i'll break your fucking head"
shastri: "if you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the
fucking 12th man"